


"love" is...

by RowanStar



Category: Lost in Translation (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kang Dongho-centric, M/M, Romantic Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, slight prose
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:36:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26415778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RowanStar/pseuds/RowanStar
Summary: To love is nothing, to be loved is something. But to love and be loved; that's everything——————Love is patient, love is kind, love is having Kang Dongho and his unusual ability to show affection in the little ways that look like nothing and yet mean everything.
Relationships: Ahn Jaewon | Wyld & Everyone, Ahn Jaewon | Wyld & Kang Dongho | D.Min, Ahn Jaewon | Wyld & Kim Daehyun, Ahn Jaewon | Wyld & Lee Minsoo, Ahn Jaewon | Wyld/Kang Dongho | D.Min, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Comments: 10
Kudos: 43





	1. Patient

**Author's Note:**

  * For [i_was_human](https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_was_human/gifts).



> Hey Suki I am on my shit now, buckle up because tonight THE DONGJAE SQUAD FUCKING _R I D E S_

_"Hold on, how am I supposed to believe you if you don't tell me anything?"_  
  
That's how this all started, Dongho supposes. A grand total of fifteen words is the reason he's doing this now. It doesn't seem possible, if you look at him holding the younger boy in his arms so serenely. How did the time fly so fast? Was it really that long between when Jaewon called him about the stalker in his apartment, when he trusted Dongho with the magnitude of who he truly was? What possessed Jaewon to go to Dongho, of all people?  
  
Dongho sighs and shakes his head, carrying the redhead to his room silently. He lays Jaewon down in the bed and pulls the comforter over curled shoulders, eyes perhaps a bit too fond to pass off his usual aloof facade. Dongho doesn't dwell on that tonight, instead standing to leave and put away the groceries where they belong, when there's just the slightest tug on his sleeve. It's not even a tug, really. Jaewon has his fingers curled around the hem, but what Dongho felt was only himself moving to step away and finding himself caught before he knew.  
  
Maybe that means something other than curiosity welling in his chest as he turns to face the younger.  
  
"Please don't go..." Jaewon's voice is little more than a whisper, though his eyes are still closed. Long, dark lashes against pale cheeks, petal pink lips turned just slightly downwards-

 _Dongho, get yourself together. Stop staring at your bandmate._  
  
"What is it? Do you need something?" He asks, sinking back down beside the bed to Jaewon's level. The boy shakes his head, but clearly he wouldn't have asked Dongho to stay if he didn't need something, so Dongho simply waits. Jaewon's eyes flutter open slightly, staring at Dongho with an unreadable emotion swimming in them. "I-" The words fall short, and Dongho has never been one to rush, merely tilting his head as he waits for Jaewon. "Ah....it was stupid anyway..." The redhead mumbles, shaking his head as he begins to turn onto his other side.  
  
Dongho stops him with a gentle hand on his shoulder. "It isn't stupid if you felt the need to ask for it. What is it?" He asks once again, tone firm but not unkind. Jaewon pauses, opens his mouth, closes it again, then mumbles under his breath. "Sorry, I couldn't hear. Can you repeat it?" Dongho leans closer to hear, missing the way a flush creeps over the tips of Jaewon's ears. "Can....Can you check the closet for me? I'm sorry, I know that's so stupid to ask. You can just leave if you don't want to, it's fine." Jaewon begins to ramble, and maybe Dongho shouldn't find it as endearing as he does, so he hides the start of a smile spreading over his lips as he stands and makes his way over to the closet door.  
  
He throws it open with no fanfare, the doorknob knocking against the wall, and then pulls out his phone to flip on the flashlight. He shines it around the closet, stepping over to the side to let Jaewon watch as he flips through clothes and peers into the hidden corners that could hide another stalker. When he finishes, he flips the flashlight back off and closes the door gently, coming back to crouch at the boy's side. "Nothing there that I saw." Dongho reports, and Jaewon rubs the back of his neck shyly.  
  
"You....you really are amazing, hyung." He murmurs, an awestruck look crossing his face. Dongho can't help but wonder how disappointing other people were for Jaewon to see this as something so fantastical.  
  
"What, did you think I'd laugh at you? It wasn't a stupid request, Jaewon-ah." He murmurs, a warmth settling into his chest as Jaewon holds a sweater paw over his mouth when he yawns. Jaewon merely offers him a soft smile, eyes sleepy but fond in a way that makes Dongho's face want to burn (if he were anyone else, that is). "I'm just grateful that you humored me, hyung."  
  
Dongho thinks maybe if this is the kind of admiration he gets just for hearing Jaewon out, he's going to shove a microphone in the boy's face the next time he hears him open his mouth.  
  
"Of course. Did you need anything else?" He asks smoothly, rising up as he waits to hear for another request. "No, but thank you anyways, hyung. Goodnight." Jaewon whispers. "Goodnight, Jaewon." Dongho replies, and he can't quite keep the fond tone from slipping into his words as he turns out the light and closes the bedroom door behind him.  
  
It isn't the first time that Dongho finds himself paying more attention to Jaewon's requests than before. Where once he saw them through the veil of a womanizer and walking scandal, acting a part to fool the masses, now he sees the boy slowly coming out of a shell he didn't even know existed. Dongho also finds himself carrying out these requests more often than not, from checking the closet when Jaewon calls in the middle of the night, to having the youngster's preferred coffee memorized because no one else gets it right when they ask for it.  
  
_(He does it the first time on a mindless whim; bringing the redhead coffee because it's early morning and they'd all rather be sleeping. It's not the first time Dongho has picked up anything for the members, but Jaewon is typically in a meeting when he does or he gets it himself._  
  
_Dongho's never seen such pure, unadulterated **joy** take over someone's expression the way it did when he handed Jaewon the coffee. "You know how I like it?" He mumbled in a tone that meant he definitely didn't think anyone would, and Dongho had used every ounce of willpower not to do something rash. "Of course I do," He had said, "why wouldn't I?" Jaewon merely smiled and held the cup like it was something precious, and then Dongho took over the coffee trips and that was that.)_  
  
This time, though, they're all practicing with their choreographer. It's not all that late, but they've been working hard and Dongho wants to go home just as much as he's sure everyone else does, including their teacher. "Wyld-ssi, you're stepping too wide again! Do it over!" They demand, and Dongho watches Jaewon's shoulders slump minutely before he looks up with a blank expression and nods. "Yes, I will try harder this time." Jaewon says. It hits Dongho then that perhaps the reason Jaewon can't get the move right is because he's been up for much longer than he should've been, nightmares haunting his sleep from the previous night and a meeting that took up most of the day.  
  
(Jaewon looked so drained when he came back, but he didn't protest going to practice even when Dongho knew he didn't feel like it. He's learning Jaewon's tells faster than he'd care to admit to anyone.)  
  
The choreographer nods and in the mirror, Dongho catches them rolling their eyes. He can see Jaewon's legs shaking, the muscles overworked, and for once Dongho musters courage he's never felt the need for, and steps forward. "As the eldest, is it not my responsibility to make sure that those younger than me follow along as they're directed?" The choreographer turns back around, and scans Dongho before nodding warily. "I...suppose, though doesn't that usually fall to the leader?" Dongho can feel the stares of the other members, and he breathes, letting his expression rest into the mask he wears on stage. "Yes, but I'd be setting a bad example if I didn't step in as well. Please, allow me to handle this. Why doesn't everyone else go home, and I'll teach Wyld-ssi myself?" He suggests. He sees from the corner of his eye the bounce of fiery red locks as Jaewon no doubt stares at him, and the choreographer hums before nodding again. "That sounds fair, if you're willing to do that, Dongho-ssi." Dongho nods, and he watches as Minsoo and Daehyun leave after the choreographer as Jaewon stays behind.  
  
When they're gone, Dongho steps forward and watches as Jaewon's head tilts up to give him the same blank expression. "What should I work on first, hyung?" The younger asks, voice quiet and flat and Dongho hates that he's the reason he still sounds that way. "Go sit down." He says instead, and when Jaewon hesitantly does, he nods decisively. "Stay there." And then he leaves.  
  
Jaewon is still sitting there when he comes back a couple of minutes later, holding an ice-cold water bottle. Dongho comes to sit on the sit next to him, the redhead's blank expression quickly fading in favor of a confused one. "Drink." Dongho says simply, opening the bottle and handing it over. As Jaewon drinks at it slowly, Dongho reaches over and cautiously begins to rub the taut line that makes up his shoulders, hands unsteady and unsure. Jaewon sputters as soon as he makes contact, then spits out a good mouthful of the water, and coughs for a nearly alarming amount of time as Dongho stares, not knowing what to do. When Jaewon seems to have his breath back, Dongho leans in, concern flickering across his face. "Are you alright?" He asks, voice a touch too soft to be normal for him. Maybe it's to make up for the words that made him feel sick to speak, maybe it's because he's trying to settle the spike of worry in his stomach as he sees the effects of the stress that's piling on his bandmates shoulders. Either way, the confused expression Jaewon wears grows more pronounced.  
  
"I-I'm alright, hyung.....Why are you doing this?" The question makes Dongho just as confused, and he gives Jaewon a similar look. "What do you mean?" Jaewon frowns, more of a sad look than anything that would imply he's angry for any reason. "You said you'd stay here to teach me the dance, hyung. Why did you make me sit down? This isn't going to help me..." Dongho just lets the smallest of smiles grace his lips, and ruffles Jaewon's hair. "Don't worry about that, you need to rest. If you overwork yourself, you won't get it right anyways. Just relax, okay? When you feel up to it, we'll go back to the dorms. Don't rush, I'll help you when you're at your best."  
  
The confused look still lingers on Jaewon's face as Dongho coaxes him to drink more water, deciding against trying to touch the other boy a second time for fear of setting him off into another fit. It isn't too much longer before the bottle is empty, and Dongho stands, offering his arm in case Jaewon's legs have finally decided to give up the ghost. The look Jaewon gives him—realizing that Dongho really won't push him tonight—was simultaneously both the sweetest and saddest look he's ever seen in his life. It was almost like Jaewon thought Dongho was faking any sort of positive feelings towards him. There's a story behind that, Dongho's sure of it, and one of these days he will understand why this was how Jaewon felt. However, it isn't his right to pry.  
  
So now, like always, Dongho will wait. He's the oldest. He's waited this long to meet them, to grow up with them, to learn his bandmates like brothers. He can and will wait longer for the trust he hopes Jaewon will put in him one day.


	2. Kind

This was single handedly the worst that Ahn Jaewon had ever felt in his life. Not even the time he was sick with the flu as a child was this bad, and he nearly had to go to the hospital then.

Jaewon, upon thinking this, sneezed so hard he though his lungs were gonna explode, a tiny whine sneaking out of him. Everything he has hurts. He's had a migraine for three days now, part of the reason he can't just sleep off whatever is wrong with him, and he can't breathe properly. His nose is stopped up and breathing through his mouth feels like he swallowed sandpaper. Not to mention his chest hurts from the congestion, and every limb feels like lead because he's exhausted despite sleeping for ten hours already. They had practice today to boot, and he can already feel his brain leaking out his ears. 

Practice was going to be difficult enough, but he was almost certain the CEO wanted another meeting and would call for him soon. Whether that "soon" turned out to be this morning or later that evening remains to be seen. Jaewon coughs into his arm and sighs, debating on stopping and getting himself some medicine on the way to practice. Minsoo knocks loudly on the door for the second time, yelling for Jaewon to hurry up so they can get it over with. The sound makes his head split and begin to ache worse than before, and Jaewon has to stifle a pained noise as he begrudgingly swings his legs over the side of his bed.

He wobbles a couple times, head throbbing and spinning, sending his vision rolling with it. It makes the trip to the bathroom much harder than it should be. He brushes his teeth and wrangles the red nest on his head into something presentable, throwing on some outfit he couldn't be bothered to pay much attention to. From there, he just needs to get his shoes on and fake being a normal human for 12+ hours. Joy.

No one notices as he drags himself through the dorms like a zombie to meet up with everyone for practice. At least, he thinks so. He's done quite a good job of plastering on a mask like usual, the version of him he wants to hide being shoved back so he becomes someone tolerable to see.

"Okay, I'm ready! Sorry I made you wait..." He says quietly, bowing his head. Minsoo and Daehyun are both so loud when they reply, but Jaewon just stifles his grimace and bites the inside of his cheek. He can make it through the day. He can and he will.

He has to.

~

Dongho notices. He usually does, if he's honest. The way Jaewon's smiles look smaller and more subdued (but always so beautiful and _bright)_ when they're genuine. How his nose scrunches and his eyes crinkle up when he finishes practice and someone else claims the shower first. The vacant stare he has coming out of meetings with the CEO, or when he's called in, or when the fans ignore him for as long as they can get by with. The same glossed-over look he has as he walks out the door with them for practice.

(It's not only Jaewon he notices things about. He's the oldest, so it's only natural to pay attention and take care of them, right?)

The look isn't entirely the same, the younger boy's eyes more foggy than blank, but something is still wrong. Dongho wonders if perhaps the culprit is a nightmare. If it was, why didn't Jaewon say something? Is it that bad to talk to someone once in a while? Either way, Jaewon makes a good effort to hide it from the others, so Dongho supposes he can let it slide for the sake of respecting his privacy.

The ride to the studio is mostly silent, Minsoo, Jaewon, and Dongho all keeping to themselves and Daehyun plugging in to his phone. When they're about halfway there, Jaewon abruptly tilts his head back against the seat with a dull thud, eyes fluttering shut. No one else seems to notice, but with that movement Dongho hears something along the lines of a quiet groan of pain. It could be that he's hearing things, but it's better to be safe than sorry. He taps the redhead on the shoulder, Jaewon's eyes blearily opening to look at him. Dongho looks at him with an unspoken question, and Jaewon just offers him a smile just short barely short of convincing and a thumbs up. That's odd, and he can't put his finger on why. Dongho looks at him for another long moment before nodding and forcing himself to trust the younger's words. It's not that he _doesn't_ trust Jaewon, it's just he's noticed some...alarming patterns in how he acts when he doesn't want to totally admit to something. Like when Dongho cornered him last week and made him stop drinking coffee for three days because he found out the younger had already had five cups that morning alone.

The rest of the ride is just as silent as before, and when they park, Dongho brushes off how pale Jaewon seems as his mind being too worrisome. It doesn't really stick home until they start practice and Jaewon blinks a few too many times as the music starts up.

Dongho forces himself to wave it off again, despite the growing tug in his heart as Jaewon misses a step only a few seconds in. Minsoo calls for them to do it from the top, they shuffle back into position, and it goes again. They get to the chorus this time before Jaewon stumbles, this time crashing into Daehyun's side. This sends both of them tumbling to the floor, and before he's even registered it, Dongho's moving to help them both up. Daehyun seems fine, but Jaewon keeps squeezing his eyes shut like he's in pain. "Jaewon-ah, what's wrong?" Minsoo asks, and Jaewon just shakes his head, hissing immediately after.

Dongho frowns and places a hand on his forehead, yanking it back just as fast. "You're burning up. Why are you here?" He asks bluntly, instantly regretting it when the younger boy grimaces at his words. "We-We can't practice if we're not all here..." He mumbles, and Minsoo makes a face like he can't decide whether to laugh or coo at him. "You should've said something. We don't need to practice if you're _sick!"_ Daehyun chirps, making Jaewon wince again. Dongho puts a finger to the blond's mouth to hush him, holding his other hand out to Jaewon.

"Come on, we're going back to the dorms." He says as the redhead takes his hand. _"We?!"_ He hears Minsoo call after them, and as he's shuffling Jaewon to the door he nods. "Yes, _we_. He can't be left alone, otherwise it might get worse with no one to take care of him." Dongho thinks he hears Minsoo and Daehyun snicker, but he ignores him, calling their driver and giving the receptionist the news that they're leaving to pass on to the CEO.

When they get back, Dongho immediately steers him into bed, grabbing any over-the-counter medication he can find and bringing them with a glass of water. "What have you eaten?" He asks, sorting out the proper dosages for each thing. "Well..."

Dongho knows that tone. That's a tone that means "nothing" in this case. **"Ahn Jaewon."** He starts off, giving the boy a chance to explain. "I didn't want to make everyone later than what we already were..." The redhead mutters under his breath, and Dongho has to repress the urge to scream because _why_ is this boy making him feel these dumb emotions?!

"Your top priority should be taking care of yourself and resting to get better, not whether we're going to be late or not. From now on, tell m- **us** if you feel unwell or if you need something." He says sternly, looking to Jaewon for an answer expectantly. "Yes, hyung. I'm sorry..." Dongho sighs at the tone, something between longsuffering and fond. "Don't apologize, you have no reason to. Just try to make sure you do those, okay? And take the medicine, too." He says, handing Jaewon the glass carefully as he sits up before reaching out to ruffle the younger boy's hair to watch the fluffy locks bounce. It makes Jaewon's eyes go wide and doe-like, and Dongho would be a liar if he said the look didn't make him just the slightest bit weaker. "I'm going to go heat some soup for you, since you haven't eaten anything. Try to rest some." Jaewon nods at that, his eyes still wide but swimming with something that could be happiness if the poor boy didn't look so miserable from being sick.

"I will, hyung..." The redhead mumbles, and Dongho doesn't hear the mumble under his breath of _"but only because it's you."_

Heating the soup, however, turns out to be more of a problem than previously thought. Mainly because no one in this dorm has any idea how to stock a kitchen without his help, so all the cabinets are filled with ramen, junk food, and the occasional coffee or tea packet. Dongho has been looking for ten minutes and he still hasn't found anything with nutritional value. He's going to have to go to the store, it would seem. He sighs (he's been doing that a lot lately, hasn't he?) and heads back to let Jaewon know in case anything happens, but another hitch in the plan happens there. Jaewon is already asleep, breathing softly and clutching a pillow to his chest like some sort of plush animal. It'd be a crime to wake him looking that adorable, really, and so Dongho simply closes the door behind himself and leaves the dorms silently to go shopping. He doesn't even register the soft smile making a home on his face.

Dongho quickly figures out that finding the ingredients is much easier without Daehyun and Minsoo constantly begging him for snacks. It doesn't take him long at all to return home, storing the groceries he doesn't need and preparing the ones he does. The smell of homecooked food fills the air as he stirs a hearty stew he remembers from childhood, the memories just as tantalizing as the scent. When it's finished, he pours some into a bowl and gets another glass of water, setting them on a tray that he carries back to the bedroom. Jaewon is still asleep when he pushes open the door, and Dongho can't resist the fond chuckle that escapes him. He sets the tray to the side, leaning over the younger boy to tap his shoulder and wake him. "Jaewon-ah, can you get up? I brought you some soup." He says softly.

Jaewon's ~~pretty~~ eyes flutter part-way open, dark lashes resting against fever-flushed cheeks as the redhead stifles a yawn. As Jaewon sits up, Dongho moves the tray onto the bed for him, making sure Jaewon is settled good just in case the soup is still too hot so he won't burn himself. Figuring that'll be all there is to it for now, Dongho stands and prepares to make his exit. Behind him, Jaewon coughs, and Dongho turns around to check on him. "Are you alright? Was it too hot?" Jaewon is still coughing but shakes his head, holding up a finger. Dongho waits patiently, still inching forward as the fit seems to be never-ending. When the redhead can finally speak—looking up to him with teary eyes from coughing so hard—Dongho is struck with a realization that he may just be able to kill for this boy.

"Hyung....please don't go..." He says, voice feather-light in the fragile air of the room. Dongho blinks, scans the room, and then heads for the door. As he reaches it, he remembers and turns back to Jaewon. "Give me a minute, I need a chair." He says bluntly, before going to scour the dorm for a chair. He ends up stealing Minsoo's gaming chair. Hopefully the leader won't mind.

He rolls the chair next to the bed, sitting close to Jaewon. He excuses it as wanting to be close by if he needs anything, but even as he tells himself that, Dongho thinks that might not be entirely the case. Jaewon's eyes almost seem to sparkle behind the glassy look that being sick gives him, like he's in a dream and that's the only way Dongho would stay with him. The younger boy is so focused on staring happily at Dongho that he nearly drops hot soup into his lap, and Dongho feels his heartrate rocket and his hair start to turn gray from that alone. "Here, let me." He says, taking the spoon from thin fingers.

Jaewon flushes dark, and Dongho puts the spoon down to make sure his fever hasn't gone skyrocketing, but Jaewon insists he's fine. Dongho stares for a long, tense moment, but he rationalizes that Jaewon is a horrible liar and therefore he would know if he was really feeling worse. He nods, and then picks up the spoon to make sure the redhead finishes the food. It takes some convincing, but Jaewon does eventually settle enough for Dongho to feed him what's left, though the alarming shade of red he turned still hasn't gone away yet.

After Dongho takes the dishes to the kitchen to be washed, he comes back and then hovers around the chair. Maybe Jaewon only wanted him in there while he was eating? It wouldn't be a bad thing, it's actually very smart to have someone in there in case anything happened-

Jaewon's soft voice pulls him from his mental ramble as the redhead tilts his head at him expectantly. "Do you not want to stay in here anymore?" He asks quietly, a tinge of sadness creeping into his tone, and Dongho has never sat down faster. He could rival the fastest musical chairs player in the world. "Sorry, I got lost in thought." He excuses. Jaewon only smiles gently at him, holding the pillow close. "It's alright if you want to leave, hyung. You didn't have to do all of this anyway." He murmurs behind his cotton shield.

Dongho gives him a confused look. "Isn't that the point?" He says slowly. "What do you mean?" Dongho tilts his head at Jaewon's return question, his eyes meeting the other boy's. "Isn't the whole point of taking care of someone that you don't _have_ to in the first place? It's called taking care of someone, not doing a job or an obligation."

Jaewon stares at him, bewildered. "But it isn't a job in the first place-!" Dongho ends up silencing him early, his hand landing in Jaewon's hair to pet it only somewhat awkwardly. "Yeah? I did it because it wasn't a job. I wouldn't have if I didn't want to." He says simply, though he does wonder why the younger boy is so insistent on this.

It's a while before anyone says anything else, the atmosphere silent but not uncomfortable. Just as Dongho's about to ask if the redhead needs anything, he stops. Even though his hand is still covered in tousled red locks, Jaewon's fallen asleep, his expression one that Dongho doesn't think he's ever seen. It's contemplative, maybe from their earlier conversation, but what shocks the older the most is the absolute contentment that radiates off of him. It almost reminds him of Boba whenever she finds a particularly nice sunbeam. Dongho stares for maybe longer than is strictly necessary, brushing a lock of hair from Jaewon's cheek and smiling gently. He can stay for a while still, he's got the time. It's never a chore to be kind to someone close, right?

(Minsoo and Daehyun find them there, Dongho's body slumped over the bed and his hand resting over Jaewon's heart, the redhead's smile radiant even in his sleep. They don't say anything about it, but Daehyun takes a picture. "It's like the eighth wonder of the world or something, how could we not!" Is the excuse he gives when Dongho demands he delete it. Minsoo cuts in to help him by telling Dongho he'll forgive the older stealing his chair if they can keep the photo.

Dongho agrees. And then has the audacity to ask for a copy of his own.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hsdjhhjsjhdf ahhaahah gonna fuckin kashoot myself this chapter got fuckin eaten by ao3 at least twice so : )


End file.
